Past few days I've waked up all shaky and scared. I know I had some bad dreams, but I can't remember them, so I cannot use my "lucid dreaming" strategy where I make up satisfying end to them.

It last for hours.

I just hope I am just in bad mood phase (I haven't seen the sun for week, it's so cloudy and foggy and nasty here, I wonder if the sun still exist at times).

I hope this is no premotion.

I am trying to get myself productive. Which is no problem. I am a workaholic. I try be do gooding, and I had some good moments, but also a diplomatically worded rejection from place I really really counted on.

Tried to cure my emotional woes at the at Little Hanoi, because well... spicy food and cheap *** make up and clothes usually works. Good news is.... I can still enjoy the totally human things. May sound silly, but it... getting excited over this stuff is somewhat progress to me. After my summer trip to Ukraine I had this inability to enjoy the girly things and I felt I shouldn't be spending money on myself. Or enjoying myself. So this and being able to go out with my friends is actually good.

Still.

I am just very... restless, more than usual.