A friend upset me today. I don't think she understands how hard it is for me to make commitments. She was mad I couldn't commit to planning a trip to with her. I just like to be honest with people when I'm not sure I can do something, but in return, she made false accusations about me, verbally attacked me, and made me feel like a bad friend. I do know she is going through a lot right now, but that's no excuse. I didn't expect my best friend to do that. I'm shocked and feel hurt. I feel I've been there for her a lot and want to be there, so when others make me feel I'm not doing enough for them and get angry with me, it makes me angry.

I wish more people understood how debilitating Bipolar Disorder can be. I can't make promises when depressed. I don't like making promises I can't keep, so if anything, I try to be considerate by telling that person straight up. It takes a lot to drag me out of the house, let alone, a trip when I'm depressed. Then, she pointed out I'll plan all these trips other times (that didn't include her), but she doesn't realize I only plan big thing like that when manic, and they always fall apart anyway.

The thing is, I never did anything hurtful to her and always worked hard to be a good friend to her. I just ended a relationship recently due to something that person did to hurt me where I acted out in rage, but I think another reason for the break up is that I felt too overwhelmed being in the relationship. It's hard enough I just lost my significant other, and I'm afraid of losing my best friend, though now I question if I can trust her. I've gone through a lot of losses in the past year.

Maybe I should explain to her how my BP affects me. To be honest, I flew into a rage when she accused me of different things, so we're "cooling off" now. I'm questioning if the friendship can be saved, especially if she learns more about Bipolar Disorder. Or should I cut her off since she has made me feel hurt, made false assumptions, and made me feel taken for granted?

Does anyone here have any feedback? How have your past or present friendships/relationships been affected by others not understanding BP? I hate how this illness causes so much damage emotionally, financially, in relationships, occupationally, etc. I'm so tired of this illness.