And another 24 hours of hell ensued. I drove off this morning thinking I'd go to the ER rather than self medicating. As soon as I left, I felt better and drove to the Animal Rescue Shelter to see about us maybe adopting a dog.

My gf called and mentioned that my former bff, who I have defriended several years ago because she was so rude to me, was posting on fb about wanting to reconnect with old friends. So my gf said she'd message her and say I wanted to reconnect 'could use an old friend as I've been going through a really bad time'. The former friend messaged back saying she 'wishes me well but can't help me'.

I never did anything to her. I was a sister to her, friends since we were two, college roommates.

So that really hurt and I sure didn''t need that to add to the battle with my h.

Horrible Thanksgiving weekend, even though I made such a beautiful dinner party where everyone was great.

Unsolvable, unfixable struggle stalemate with h.

Therapist was texted and didn't reply. What good is he in a crisis?

Children were brought into it. This has to stop.

First thing Monday, I'll find myself yet another new psychiatrist and examine the meds I am on. The self medicating is playing roulette and my kidneys will probably give out.