I don't know what is going on with me? I'm not crying all the time or sad but I'm not happy either. I thought that maybe I am afraid to be happy because I'm afraid that if I let myself be happy than the bottom may fall out from under me. I'm use to being sad. Do you think that maybe that is why I'm not happy because I am so use to be sad? I don't think I'm making any sense. If someone understands please let me know.