wow, i didn't see all those others posts before i responded to your first one, september. i see know what motivation issues you're speaking of.

september, hubby here is the same way about xmas and just about everything else...lol. i learned to realize that it wasn't that he didn't love me enuf to do these things for me (he would move heaven and earth for me if he felt he had to). it was just the way he, himself was raised. his mother did all of that, etc. so i found other ways in which he could give me attn. so that i would feel special...something that was easy for him. you may have to get creative there for instance, with xmas, he still won't decorate, but will now sit there and prepare the ornaments to be hung and do the lights...before he did nothing.

our relationship was so bad that he slept on the floor in livingroom for years, and stayed in front of t.v. when he wasn't working. he has made some changes for me (he's back in the bed...lol), but i had to stop being to demanding of attention and realize that his lack of actions weren't because he didn't love me, they were because of his own issues. we only realized that though, when we began to talk about them.

i know how hard it is to be in a relationship where you don't feel appreciated and where your spouse isn't involved. what i ended up finally doing was....finding my own interests, etc. it didn't take long until he was seeking me out for convo, time, etc! that was cool i was happier and he realized that my whole world didn't revolve around him and that he'd better get involved quick.

i wish there were magic answers but every relationship is so different and every individual in the relationship is very unique. i hope you find some contentment soon.

be safe,

kimmydawn