thank you Happles, thanks for giving this old jerk another chance... i really am not like what you met last nite at all.. well, sometimes at work, well sometimes i guess i obviously am..

ok, so at your young age and in the recent past some experiences have shook the rug beneath you... i want to emphasize that a temporary occurance and condition does not have to stretch into all the rest of your life..

you've reached out and the earnesty in your words comes thru...

i can relate to some things you've said but instead of giving you my story.. i want to make this about you, your question, your issues...

first maybe cut yourself some slack.. at your young age and continuing through life you will face obstacles and more than once be disappointed in your own performance... please don't take it so hard on yourself.. everyone fails at something sometime...

you set yourself some high standards and til then you achieved your goals... when a cowboy falls from his horse he stands up, dusts himself off and promises himself to try again, learn, and continue on, stronger for the lesson...