I agree that alpha males may have an edge over other males in the dating world, the same way perceived "hot" or type A, females may have an edge over others. That, however, does not mean that less charismatic or attractive people aren't successful in romance. Given the fact that many, many types of people are dating and getting married means that most people can find a mate if they want to. I think the point is having realistic expectations and trying not to blame the objects of ones attraction for not returning the sentiment. Attraction is a complicated thing and I agree (and I think the science does too, although I can't back it up right now), that people's claims to what they want in a mate versus who they actually are attracted to don't always match (I honestly believe this is what Talthybius meant). If you've ever been on a dating site you see the evidence pretty clearly. Men often say they love it when women email them first and pursue them and I believe they are sincere when they say it. Still when I, and other at least marginally attractive women I know, have initiated contact first, men don't respond in kind. Just another example of people thinking they like one thing, with the actual behavior not following suit. I think this argument can be helpful to the op in terms of helping him understand that he may need to alter the type of women he is interested in. Just as he may feel rejected by women who only seem to want the alpha male, perhaps he is not pursuing the women who are interested in him.