Hello MM20: Honestly, I'm not sure what to write with regard to your post. I do think you're correct about the difficulty involved with finding someone to love, & be loved by, when one is asexual, especially if you prefer not to even engage in such things as touching, hugging & perhaps kissing. It seems as though most people are going to want this to at least some extent.

I presume there are other individuals out there who feel the way you do. But finding someone else who feels that way, with whom you can develop a relationship, could be a big challenge I would imagine. On the other hand, I don't know as I would give up on the possibility entirely. I do think that, if you do continue to try to find someone, you need to try to avoid the impulse to compare a new person with the person you had before whom you held in such high esteem. That is a prescription for ongoing frustration, from my perspective.

I don't know if you've ever tried any of these on-line dating sites. (I never have. So I really know nothing about them.) It does seem as though many people meet on them nowadays. If you were upfront with regard to your asexuality, you never know, you might just find others who feel similarly. I do know that asexuality is not something really out of the ordinary. I have watched a few videos on YouTube posted by members who were asexual.

I was struck by your comment regarding your disorders having seemed to have stopped for periods of time while you were dating that last person. I'm an older person now. But my entire life, one of the problems I have always struggled with was gender identity dysphoria. I don't know if I was actually transgender; or if it was simply one aspect of broader mental health issues that also included depression, anxiety & perhaps other stuff. However, either way, over the years I have found that my GID-related struggles have waxed-&-waned depending on what else was going on in my life. (By the way, I've also made a few of those do-it-yerself attempts as well.) So, anyway, the experience you describe in your post makes sense to me. I wish you well...