The skin on my right hand is permanently deformed from hitting hard surfaces. It looks worse and worse every year. I wish it looked better than it does, but that's not going to change.

Crazy as it sounds, I picked up a pick ax and shovel instead and dug holes in the yard, a regular ax to chop wood and a sledgehammer to pound a splitting iron into logs for firewood. There was an element of danger to it that I loved but I beat the everloving crap out of the dirt and the wood! Other than a few unintentional blisters, I never hurt myself while doing that very physical alternative.

The physical exertion is good for the endorphin release. That's a great way to combat the self hurt. Running, bicycle, push ups, weights, any of that interest you?