I've always had painful smear tests but for me I tense up whenever anything is inserted in my vagina (I won't even use tampons) so it's no surprise. I had a smear test when I was a virgin which didn't help. It was agony. When I have engaged in sexual activity close to the time of the smear however it is usually just uncomfortable. But I won't go for smears as a result, even though I have been recently in a sexual relationship. I've never enjoyed sex much and it can be painful and almost always on insertion. I don't know if this is related to having a smear test when I was a virgin or not. At school.I wouldn't even use tampons so I always feared inserting anything in it. So if you think you are a wimp you are not. You've had children so you're definitely not a wimp! I don't know much about how to help but yes I do always have horrible smears. I haven't had one for about 8 years and should go but I am afraid.. a real wimp.