Every person we meet, we have to connect to that person not just "connect" in general. Sometimes the other person can't connect with us or we don't connect with them, etc.

I'm unclear where Betty said you didn't connect with Deb or Betty said you didn't connect with her back when you were in high school or that you weren't connecting now or when it was and to whom you weren't connecting?

Other people can only give us their view, what they "see". Everyone is a mirror for other people so if Betty didn't think something was "coming back" then there's a lack of connection. This isn't "bad" in any way, just a statement of fact. If you want to connect, I think almost any therapist will help you try to learn to connect. I didn't connect to my therapist even after 8-9 years with her the first time! I didn't have the conversational knowledge, didn't know how to listen and respond to another, to "take turns" in the conversation and validate the other. She was working on teaching me that when we had to terminate. 9 years after we terminated that time, I called her again and saw her again for another 9 years and this time I could connect and we did lots of good work together.