As a survivor of sexual abuse, your post upsets me greatly. Please seek immediate professional help and share your post with the therapist. It's not rational to judge all women off the two failed/failing relationships you've had. Though we have our struggles my husband and I are intimate and loving in all ways with each other, as many many couples are. This is not a problem with womankind, this is a problem with you and your relationship.. Whether you choose cold unloving women who remind you of your mother, or you don't value yourself enough, or you're so negative about women that your wife senses your underlying disdain and can't connect with you.. That's for a therapist to work out. Do not ruin a woman's soul and life by sexual abuse.