Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
Lauliza, that is my point. All sorts of people, from shy and introverted to adventurous extroverts get married and are in relationships, so to say people in general only want one thing is kind of outrageous. That's like saying employers only want one thing, when in truth, what an employer wants depends on the job. What a potential mate wants is dependent on what they value.
On a personal note, this alpha male stuff is super outdated. Especially since women make their own money, are independent, and take care of themselves, 'alpha' male is not necessarily something we're looking for. And I've dated some men who could be considered alpha male types and I am so not interested in that kind of man. Doesn't mean I don't look for someone with their own confidence, but I don't need someone to dominate, and that's usually what alpha male refers to.
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I understand what you're saying but it sounds like you are mislabeling the "alpha male" stuff for a bad stereotype, which it isn't. Generally speaking there are alpha females just as there are alpha males and I find it hard to believe that the idea that these people have a slight edge in the dating is "outdated". Maybe it's the label "alpha ..." that is outdated, but the personality type exists no matter what you want to call it. Like I said, you can see this very clearly on a dating site. Women and men who consider themselves to be physically fit, ambitious and socially competent will usually state outright in their profiles that they prefer the same in a partner. There's nothing wrong with that - people just tend to prefer others who have similar values and priorities. With that, I think it's important for the OP to figure out what his values and priorities are, what he has to offer someone else and to work on those things. He should also be realistic with himself relative to the type of women he is most likely to appeal to and focus on them instead of the "alpha females" (or whatever a better term is) that he seems to be drawn to.