Quote:
Originally Posted by Gojamadar
The thoughts of anger usualy return when there are no other thoughts on hand.
Think of a sunny day in pleasant surroundings or start doing something useless like I do  |
Thanks
Yes, it helps me to light some candles in my room, take a bath sometimes, and just listen to music. Although the thoughts come and go, at least it's a way to work towards letting go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leejosepho
Being angry and holding resentment (to re-think, re-feel or re-hash things) against others is like giving people rent-free space in our brains while they (the other people) are sleeping, and being aware of that is at least part of my motivation for trying to live anger-free or at least free of being controlled or driven by anger. For myself, returning feelings of anger come from me thinking about me rather than considering the other person's reality. There might not always be anything I can do to help satisfy the other person's need or desire behind his or her actions that angered me, but I can at least come to terms with the fact she or he was usually just making his or her own best effort at life.
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Very well said. Thanks for giving me this to think about. It's true we each have our own realities, life experiences, and perspectives. Maybe DBT is something I'll try to use to stay in the "middle ground" to work towards letting go and not letting others control my actions and feelings. Also, when others are mad at me for not living up to their expectations, I think I need to approach it that I'm doing the best I can, and so is the other person. Usually these things do pass with time, space, and regrouping. I was just in a difficult place yesterday, but I'm feeling a little bit better today.