Hi JustJace2u,
I'm sorry you are going through a difficult time. What do you think can be contributing to that feeling? Have you gone through an especially hard time that just drained you to the point where emotionally you are just shutting down?
Sometimes when things get especially overwhelming, it's a natural response to become numb. Numbness can be a subconscious way of blocking and protecting oneself from underlying pain, grief, anger, feelings of powerlessness, and/or confronting issues that are stressful. From what you just posted, I can see how issues with school and parents can certainly contribute....especially with the holidays coming up. Family can trigger especially around this time of year if there are any issues.
I also wonder if you think if seasonal changes (not getting enough daylight, SAD) is affecting your mood. Certain Vitamins, exercise, counseling, meditation, and sometimes medication changes can make a difference. Personal outlets are especially important. It may be hard to get that motivation, but as long as you don't entirely abandon those activities, then it's still a step towards self-care. Even though numbness can lead everything to feel so "dull," it won't last forever. Mindfulness exercises sometimes help me and find a balance between avoiding isolation while still giving myself time and space.
Try to identify things that are self-soothing and just be aware what warning signs to look out for in case depression gets worse, and in that case, going to your pdoc asap is what's needed.
I know it's hard to gain interest in things when you're feeling so numb, but it will take time and maybe some small lifestyle changes that promote health and wellness. Also, don't place pressure on yourself that you have to feel better in "x" amount of time. Everyone is different. I wish you well.
|