Hi, so, I'm 16 and I'm feeling pretty sad. Sorry if this is a little random but I wanna say what's coming to mind.
So I honestly feel like I have no future and I'm not really fit for life. I never know what to do to help myself/never want to. I'm overweight and I can't seem to act on it because I always give up. My PCOS makes it hard to lose weight anyways. I avoid mirrors cause I hate the way I look (face, weight, stretch marks and all). I have mood swings a lot (probably also bc of pcos) I want a part time job to buy the things I want but I feel incapable of handling it without quitting after my first mistake. I want to go to college, but my grades weren't the best in 9th or 10th grade, so it messed up my cumulative gpa so I probably won't end up anywhere good (I'm in 12th grade). I don't even know what I want to do. I'm okay at graphic design and I love film (just rly like editing) but I don't know which to go into and I feel like I'll never be good enough at it, even my grades are showing that I'm starting to give up hope on it. I can't even make friends without pushing them away eventually. I have a girlfriend, who does make me happy when I'm around her, but I don't get to see her much (I don't exactly have a car and shes busy on weekends sometimes so.)I'm still just not rly happy with my life in general. I take these things rly far and often contemplate suicide, even though I feel like I won't actually do it, but who knows.
I would get a psychiatrist or something but it feels like it'll be uncomfortable. Idk. I guess this was more of a vent