I feel like I have so many things wrong with my head, and I’m not positive what sort of doctor would be the best to visit, if I should goto one, and I have no idea what’s really wrong with me aside from the fact that I have anxiety with panic attacks. According to the quizzes on the website here I have ADHD, depression, and OCD. A little backstory(probably long really sorry), I’ve had panic attacks for about 10 years, I used to be on Xanax for a long time and it made me extremely tired so my doctor(gp) put me on kolopin which I’ve been taking 2mg a day for about 5 years or so. It started at 1 mg (.5 twice a day) and I would still always feel anxious so it was upped to 2mg (1mg twice a day) I don’t feel anxiety anymore; I still will have panic attacks late at night if I haven’t taken my meds yet. Once I take it, it goes away in about 30 minutes. I feel like the kolopin has some negative effects on me of course, and I really feel trapped by it. I know if I don’t take it, it will be worse than if I did. I’m always tired, it doesn’t matter how much or how little I sleep and I have sexual problems as well.

I broke up with my girlfriend of 9 years about 8 months ago which I still struggle with. I broke up with her because we had drifted so far apart we were the definition of roommates. We didn’t sleep in the same room, we just hung out, did some stuff, but there was no love or affection anymore and it was killing me, now I just miss having someone around me. I keep getting new girlfriends and ultimately it doesn’t work out and I have just stopped doing that the last couple months. It wasn’t helping.

I travel for work about 8 months out of the year(like 3-4 days a week with weeks off), and since all my old friends have moved or gotten married my only real friends live in other states. I know some people around here, but when they want to do stuff it’s hard for me to go out and do anything. I always make excuses that I’m busy. When I do go out with them I have fun, I have no social anxiety problems I have no problem talking to or meeting new people, its actually part of my job in a way so that’s not the issue. I just don’t feel like leaving my house most of the time. I go out almost every day to go somewhere for a little while, but for the most part I just sit here.

I certainly feel like I’m depressed to an extent and I feel like I have adhd as well, but I’m just a google doctor so I can’t be sure. I just know that on top of my anxiety problems, I’m never really happy even when I get a big job for work (I own my business). I’ll just go, cool, now I need to worry about the next big job even though it’s nothing to worry about; I have steady income. It seems like when good things happen I just sigh with relief and start to worry about the next good thing instead of being happy that things are good.

I notice I spend a lot of money trying to be happy about stuff and it fades really fast after buying stuff. I’m excited about it for a short time and then I don’t care anymore.

I also get very hyper focused on new hobbies and quickly lose interest. I will bury myself into something doing all the research I can, and get insanely educated on it, and just as fast as I cared I don’t anymore and stop being interested in it. This also goes for things I used to really like to do, I get very bored with them after a few hours now and bothers the hell out of me.
I also get very distracted and a lot of not carrying about stuff when it comes to work, deadlines and hobbies. I try to change habits and nothing seems to work. I’m always over thinking and evaluating everything. I always drag stuff out and never do what I actually need to do when I should. I’ll wait until I absolutely have to do something before I will ever do it. It gets so stressful sitting around knowing I have something I need to do in the back of my head, but I just won’t do it. It feels like being lazy, but I’m not lazy I just don’t want to do something, or I start to do it and can’t focus on getting it done. I’ll get bored of it and just stop doing it, then wait until the last minute to finish it when I have no choice but to do it(that sounds really confusing even typing it out lol).

I’m sure the internet can’t solve my problems although I appreciate any input from someone in a similar situation. I’m mainly not sure what sort of doctor I should seek out and I don’t know for sure if my insurance would even cover it in the first place. I can tell my GP I think I have adhd or depression and he will give me medication if he agrees, but I don’t see that really solving anything. I have friends on anti-depressants and it doesn’t sound like the side effects are much more fun than benzo’s so I’m pretty hesitant to go that route, but if it can make me happy I’m sure it would be worth it in the end. Also there is a ton of forums in here; if I posted this in the wrong spot please let me know. Thanks!