I was fortunate to have 3 years of DBT and have kept all the materials. One of the things I am constantly working on is emotional regulation. Recently I started paying attention to negative feelings like shame and disgust. I never knew what they were or why I felt them.
Last night I was reading Eclipse, the 3rd installment in the Twilight series and I realized why it was so difficult to read. I was disgusted with Bella because of how she treated Jacob.
If I was in her position and I knew Jacob was in love with me and I wasn't in love with him, I would definitely not keep a friendship going. That's not helping Jacob. I know she's only a senior in high school, however I would not have even done that as a teenager.
I looked up disgust in my DBT binders and some prompting events for feeling disgust are
- Observing or hearing about a person who grovels or who strips another person of their dignity.
- Observing or hearing about a person acting with extreme hypocrisy/fawning (which ironically is a complex ptsd defense mechanism)
- Observing or hearing about betrayal, child abuse, racism, or other types of cruelty. (Bella didn't quite betray Jacob, but close.)
- Being confronted with someone who is deeply violating your own Wise Mind values.
Bella strips Jacob of his dignity by maintaining a relationship with him while being in love with Edward. Bella acts like she's fawning over Jacob when she thinks she is so concerned with him.
My wise mind values are staunchly against multiple relationships and this is exactly what Bella is doing.
Has anyone else been able to use DBT in a real life way like this?
(This may be be more suited for the BPD forum just because people there are more familiar with DBT)