I have this issue myself this is why I ask, do you think part of the connection is that she is a 'project' for you to try and take care of, or fix? You are also researching answers to why she behaves the way she does that leads me to think if you found the 'answer' you would be able to take care of the problem.

Something I wanted to mention as well, I was well trained by my ex to behave the way you do when given the silent treatment (or any other anxiety inducing behavior), I automatically scan my self and my environment to find out 'what did I do?'...and normally I didn't do anything. and yes I did find myself apologizing for things that were not even my fault. I have done it recently with a boyfriend because I knew something felt off but as usual, I thought it was me. and it wasn't, it was him. but I had done the apologizing.

It's not right, it's not fair and it's painful to be treated like she is treating you. Especially leaving you in circumstances where you are unable to get home, what would she think if you did that to her??? That's just wrong on so many levels. I'm guessing what your 'interests' might be and you might be right, it might be difficult to find someone whose interests are well aligned with yours. However, I can be certain that another person is out there and will treat you in the manner you are worthy of.
Something I have tried to keep in my mind...I can't fix anyone. Trust me, I have tried to be helpful, I have tried to be a sounding board, I've looked up resources for one bf to get him assistance. things he could have done himself but chose not to...lazy? unmotivated? not sure. in the end, I ended up feeling resentful and used and I left the relationship.

I don't have answers for you, but I do wish you the best in your journey.