So many replies. I've been busy the last couple days so I haven't been able to post.

Ok first off, here is something important I shoud point out. This is NOT about finding a girlfriend. I am actually am not interested in a serious relationship at this point in my life at all. I am 28 in case you are wondering. Another thing you might find interesting is that my brother I am talking about(who is 2 years younger than me) has also never had a girlfriend. However, he has had many girls interested in him before.

Originally what this post was about was me not feeling like I am valued by my group of friends from work, basically like they just let me tag along out of kindness but do not find me appealing in any way. Then the topic sort of switched to how I feel inferior to my brother because he is witty and charismatic and has tons of people who admire him meanwhile I am socially awkward and mentally slow and people seem to pity me. These two are sort of connected, because it terrifies me when I think about how if my brother happens to come work at the same place I work(which could actually happen in the future), he would outshine me in every possible way. Anyways, it is not just women, it is people in general whom I feel he appeals to more. But as a male who is attracted to women, their opinion of me carried much more weight than men's.

It is easy for you to say "you should stop comparing yourself to your brother" and "you shouldn't care what other people think" but these are not things I am finding myself able to do. Yes it's true that you should avoid comparing yourself to others, but I think there is a certain point where it becomes like an elephant in the room. The gap between my brother and I is so extreme that it is embarassing. When I imagine my brother meeting my friends from work, I immediately imagine them thinking, even in their own voices: "he is so much cooler than (my name)."

Yes it would be nice if I could just tell myself I am just as cool as he is despite what anybody else says, but we do not live in a society which facilitates that. We live in a society which teaches us to value ourselves based on how valuable we are to the collective. The problem is, I am finding myself unable to improve my social desirabilty. It seems I just don't "have it" and nothing I am doing is changing that. So the only option left for me is to admit to myself that my brother is just worth more than me. And I find that unbearable.