It seems I should know by now how to get off meds, but I constantly run back to them when I feel bad and out of control. I have tried to quit at least 5 times, this seems to be a recurring theme in my life... Quit something realize I need it and run back. At this point I don't even remember if I truly needed meds, it was an impulsive decision I made when presented with the question, " Are you depressed?" from a general practitioner and he asked everyone this question surely there was something in it for him, but now everytime I get close to being off of them my mind is so clouded with the missing medication that I don't remember how I felt with out them. In it self coming off of medicine is exciting, there is a sweet spot that I hit everytime... I guess it would be mania... Where everything seems great and mystical, I can feel God, I can feel that I am going to be great I am going to succeed and a feeling of euphoria persists nearly constantly, but this ends and leads back to depression. Self loathing, thoughts of self harm, angry outburts, hatred for everything, and an overall lousy feeling. I am not sure if everyone has the same cycle as I do, but I feel that everyone should be warned and educated more on these medications before taking them. What I would like to know is if this is common pattern for withdrawal or is it a sign of underlying illness beyond just withdrawing? I have been diagnosed major depression, bipolar 2, OCD, generalized anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and who knows what else with out informing me.