Myzen, I've been dealing with my husband's lack of motivation for almost 30 yrs. He's even had his wake-up call. We were separated for seven years because of it. Guess I'm a "Never say die" kind of person. I'm still on a quest for the right words to say to hubby to get him to do some things.

Anger and pleading went by the wayside long ago. I've tried reasoning and I've tried to "make deals" with him. Sometimes it works, but NOT most of the time.

As for "having to," I guess they don't. My DIL got her brother to help her. I need help doing it because I can't walk or stand for very long at all and I sure can't climb a ladder! If hubby drags his butt tomorrow putting up the lights on the house, I'll have to get my retarded neighbor to do it. Alright... the whole decorating thing is an emotional thing for me. I'd like my Partner to be involved With me. I don't want to share that intimate moment with someone that has been driving me nuts, anyway! This kid calls me "grandma" and is believing that I am! I'M NOT!!! He's been taking just too many liberties that I can't and won't handle any more. See what I mean there? BUT... if I have to, I'll ask him to put up the outside lights for me. I'm pretty sure I can handle the inside decorations myself. HUMPH!

I guess the whole thing is aking to "feathering OUR nest" for me. There's no "our."