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Old Nov 28, 2016, 02:37 PM
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seesaw seesaw is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElsaMars View Post
My brother is 6 years older than me and hates me. He cannot remember his childhood because of drug abuse so he conjured up his own narrative where he was the victim when in fact he abused me my entire life and resented me from the day I was born for no reason. It's a long story but when someone gets convinced they are less important than their sibling for whatever reason (real or imaginary) it causes some deep seething anger and pain and need to restore ones ego.
Wow, this is almost my story exactly, except my brother is only 2.5 years older than me. My brother tried to molest me once growing up, then got into drugs, and daily was physically abusive and threatened to kill me. My mother and father both seem in denial that any of this happened. When I remind my mother of his past drug use, she's like "I don't remember that." even though it was the whole reason we moved from California to Florida, to get him away from his drug dealer.

Then, about 18 months ago, he was in a very serious motorcycle accident and nearly lost his leg. My family has been extremely supportive of him and they seem to expect me to all of a sudden start caring about him when I grew up terrorized by him and his death threats to me. My mother continually has to update me on his latest surgery when I honestly don't care. He's an abuser whom I have nothing to do with any longer. It's extremely hurtful to hear my mom talk about how upset she is about his condition, when I went through two years of multiple hospitalizations, had to go on disability, and went through hell, and she doesn't even seem to acknowledge that I was sick.

Anyways, I digress. My point was, I totally understand where you're coming from.

Seesaw
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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