Hello franz kafka: I'm sorry I would not know what to suggest with regard to what you describe. This is beyond my experience. But I saw no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would. From my perspective, I would think this would be something that would be important to discuss with whatever mental health professionals you are working with. I suppose it could be medication related. Or perhaps there is even something going on with you physically that is affecting how you are perceiving things. I'm sorry I don't have something more substantive to offer. Perhaps other members here on PC, who do have more to offer, will yet reply. I wish you well...