stress was my biggest issue ... would just make me physically sick .... years of numbing meds gave me control .... slowly I have tapered down till now I am on prn xanex only .... still get those issue every now and then ... made a pac with myself if it got too much I would just leave ... if too bad in am would just not go in ... guess I have got to the point I can say f##k it and not care anymore ... I really do not care what anyone thinks about me any more ... when I feel stress creeping in or I start rapid talking and sharing way too much I am self aware of it now .... and I back down ...

lucky for me I had been in this position for 20 plus years before my melt down ... I had a lot of work "credit" built up ... having to start over even now .... probably could not survive ...

my only advice is to learn your triggers and become aware of sutile changes that mean bad is coming ... learn ... listen to yourself ... and put your self and health first .... think of a job as a want to not a have to ... at least tell yourself that ...