you know, I spent almost 30 years with a controlling man and in the end I did finally have to leave. I did it for my sanity. I'm not sure how you feel about your marriage, I know many people believe it is forever no matter what. only you can figure out where the boundary lies, where your red line in the sand is. how much emotional/verbal abuse you will take. my ex crossed a line I didn't even know existed until it was crossed, and I did put up with a lot, 29 years and 9 months worth. but once that line was crossed, there was no going back.
I wish you the best but I'm not entirely optimistic.