Still IP. Been 24 days now. Want to go home but pdoc wont discharge me due t safety issues. I know he' right but i am so down it has to be that way. On the plus side I have made some progress with PTSD issues, while also triggering me badly once accidentally. It is so hard to know what random, odd things will set me off sometimes. I am not trying to process the trauma, that would be disastrous, instead I am trying to find a way to be at peace with it for at least now, put it in a safe place and move on with my life. I have no interest in 'dealing' wth my past but it haunts me, triggers me and drives me literally insane.

Bipolar wise I am stabilising as the mania has past and I feel relatively stable outside agitation, anxiety and obsessive, racing thoughts. It seems manageable though. I am still switching between happy bipolar to suidical PTSD at the flick of a switch and this is what my doctor is concerned about as I get out of control quickly. Anyone else ever had anything like that doe on before?

I am sad that the sun is out and I am trapped in here. I just want to go home and return to my semi-normal life.