Quote:
Originally Posted by Só leigheas
Thing is, I've been riding this "crazy train" for so long without realizing it that it's finally all coming to a head. Too late to put the brakes on and too early to not try and stop it. It's all confusing, it's all terrifying and it's all one disturbing nightmare with five layers. I never thought I'd let it get this bad.
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As Kecanoe said, it's not you fault and I know that you work constantly to try to heal yourself. You have been trying to get ahold of this thing ever since we met at PC (and probably before). What is likely confusing is trying to figure out what is caused by trauma verses genetics and so forth. They are all intertwined and Skeezyks is also right acceptance is good because it seems impossible to completely understand what is going on in our subconscious mind. There are some things that we will never completely understand (though I know you want to).