Hello everyone!

I have never participated in any type of forum before so this is all very new to me. After seeing over 15 different specialists throughout the last 4 years without any real relief, this is where I have ended up. I am a 27 year old female and had no medical history prior to the birth of my son 4 years ago. Brace yourselves this is going to be a long one. I appreciate anyone who reads this and welcome any feedback anyone might have!

About 3 months after my son was born I began experiencing what I now understand were panic attacks. At the time I believed I was dying as I had an emergency c-section due to spontaneous hemorrhaging with no explanation. I ended up in the ER 12 times within the span of 2 weeks before finally being sent to a psychiatric hospital for help. Very hard to deal with in general, having a newborn didn’t help of course.

I was initially diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder, depression and ADHD. I had a lot of health issues both physical and mental post baby and have had more blood tests and work-up’s for everything you can imagine (I won’t bore you with all of it), but so far nothing has made any sense for me and my PCP used anxiety to explain most of my issues but still referred me to multiple specialists "just in case".

After my panic episodes began I was immediately put on Zoloft, took that for the better part of a year - and Ativan .5mg PRN for panic attacks – that was hell on Earth for me. I took myself off of the Zoloft slowly and continued with the Ativan as needed. Shortly after that I began showing symptoms of hypothyroidism and was put on Synthroid for a few months. I felt better but quickly discontinued that due to chest pain. My thyroid tests have been “normal” ever since. I was then put on Adderall 20mg 3x a day (too much, I know) but eventually decided to take myself off of that because I could feel my nervous system just screaming at me.

Panic attacks continued and I realized I was building up a tolerance to the Ativan. My psychiatrist switched me to Klonopin .5mg 3x a day and Ritalin 10mg 3x a day. I was basically attacking my brain every single time I took the Ritalin, and I knew it. Yet it made me feel better temporarily so I continued to take it.

So after being on this nonsense cocktail of medication, I just began attributing all of my symptoms to the anxiety/depression/iron deficiency anemia. Hair loss, lack of motivation, loss of interest in things that used to genuinely excite me, mood swings mainly anger, frustration, no patience for literally ANYTHING, no appetite. It’s been awful. The only time I felt functional was during the two hours that the Ritalin was in my system, then came the crash which I counteracted with Klonopin. I knew what I was taking and how I was feeling wasn't right so I decided to get rid of the Klonopin.

I tried to go off of it cold turkey, was told that the dose was so low that I wouldn’t have any withdrawal symptoms and if I did they would be mild – boy was that a mistake. After day 2 of no Klonopin I ended up in the psych ER, a place I never wanted to see again in my life. I was put back on the Klonopin and referred to a new psychiatrist and therapist.


The new doctor shook his head when he saw what I had been taking for the past few years and suggested that I might be mildly bipolar. Took me off of the Ritalin and put me on Lamictal 25mg twice a day. I have a medical background and couldn’t even bear to think that I might be “bipolar” and that that this wasn’t just a last stitch effort to rule out yet another disease. Against the doctor’s instructions I have been taking only 25mg of the Lamictal a day for the past 5 days as opposed to 50. I did enough research and that is where most people start. I am terrified of the “rash” and I just know how my body reacts to new medications – it’s hard for me to even tolerate antibiotics most of the time. The first two days on Lamictal were awesome. I began feeling like myself again and finally had some hope.


Here I am day 5 itching like CRAZY, no rash, just itching. My scalp, torso, arms, bottoms of my feet. I’ve read that the itching and fatigue would eventually subside but I can’t justify putting myself through this!! I literally slept 10 hours the night before last, slept for many hours yesterday and all through the night. This morning when I woke up I felt drained and itchier than ever!! On the bright side my anxiety seems to be under control and I’m finding myself only using the Klonopin for the itching and also the fear of withdrawal (which was horrible). Hoping to eventually eliminate that, as benzo’s are not safe long-term regardless of what anyone says.

Has anyone else experienced these symptoms with Lamictal? I know it’s a low dose and I’ve only been on it for 5 days, but riding this out seems almost impossible without a stimulant. I was prescribed Focalin XR 10mg a day in place of the Ritalin, but my insurance needed a prior auth before the pharmacy would fill it so I haven’t been able to take that yet (not sure I even want to at this point). I just want to feel “normal” again and I’m afraid that the different medications I’ve been on over the past 4 years have rendered me captive to this never ending cycle of chemical imbalances and different diagnoses with no positive outcome. I am reaching out before calling my doctor because he told me to give it time and to ignore anything that isn’t a rash. So if I call him I’m afraid my symptoms will all be attributed to the anxiety OR he will try to put me on yet another drug, which I do not want.

Phew! I’m done. Thank you for reading this. Any information or personal experiences with this medication for treating depression or bipolar would be extremely helpful!