Hi Guys

I have this thing where I kind of disassociate romantically and sexually:

The best way I can describe it is ... that I can't distinguish between wanting to BE WITH someone and wanting to actually BE someone!

Its helpful to explain that I am a gay man - and hence why I kind of didn't detect these thoughts as a male identity.

I.e a straight guy wanting to BE the women he fancied would notice those feelings as odd as it would be across genders!

But with me It's how I first found sexual expression, i.e. when I was younger and discover porn etc... It wasn't that I wanted to be with the guys I was seeing - I projected myself, and fantasied about having their body, being IN there body and feeling the feelings they were experiencing!

These days I find i'm attracted to guys I WANT TO BE, and so I make myself more like them as much as i can - its how i make sense of my identity.... if I like someone - I must be like them for other people to like me!

I've heard of people projecting themselves onto others, but what about projecting other people back on yourself?

does anyone know what I might be talking about? is there a name for it!

thanks guys