**warning detailed sex experiences**

The situations gotten a little more cloudy since this short time has passed since I posted last. I'll make the situation brief so it makes a bit more sense, because it is a unique situation in itself. My best friend and I love each other and would do things for one another. So we expressed to each other what happened and how we feel...she's not even mad about her husband and I fooling around, I think in a way she found it arousing.

Remember, I'm 21...and there 19-20. I've never been with any other man besides my husband and her husband has never been with another woman besides his wife also. We've all been very close and we all do love and respect another....we have been honest through this all. My best friend knows how sad my intimate life is...theirs is the best of course. I think she wants to share a little bit of her happiness with me...because she loves me. I truly believe this. I told her a week or so ago that all I wanted was a "one nighter" with someone I know, trustworthy, clean...etc., and that be it. She's offering her husband to me for one night....I do not see the problem.

Last night I did have a strike of weirdness, after all I've never done anything even close to as freaky as we've been talking. I wanted to be intimate with my husband....he refused. Then when I explained that I wanted it...now...bad...he took his pants off a laid there....didn't touch me, didn't kiss me....nothing. My husband and I haven't kissed in years.

Some of you may think this is horrible...I could lose friends a marriage...but like I said it's flourished to the open in the last couple days and I'm wanting him even more. Does this make me desperate...some hormonal flash from hell. Just please understand...I am 21, never experienced an orgasm and am mighty lonely outside and in this situation. Even if/after we do "the do", there's a possibility it may not help me, that I might want more, that friends/spouses get jealous...something. I'm wanting to risk it for one good night...it's impulsive and somewhat pathetic I know.