Too late candistyx. You're already not alone, and you're not the first to have these thoughts. I don't know what generation you were born in but the Children of Mutable Fire came to this world in 1995, so they still have some growing to do before they are ready to fulfill their destiny. You might want to go ahead and write your book anyway, and see if you can attract followers. One of the fastest things you'll ever learn from this exercise is that no one who would follow you would be good enough or worthy ... and those good enough or worthy would, by their very natures, never follow you.