I used to post fairly regularly on the forum, but took a break for a few years. I was on and off of medication and spent a bit of time in the hospital. After getting out this last time, I decided I wanted to come off of all medication and did really, really well for awhile.

My therapist decided that, since I was stable, we should start working on my lifeline, so I could live a full life and not avoid my past. We started with the easier things and ages, but are now working on the harder times (abuse). She says that the more I talk about what happened, the easier it will get. I am not allowed to write anything down or to use any coping techniques which could be considered avoidance. It's really hard. Lately, my anxiety has been really high. I'm worried that everyone I care about will die or get sick, myself included and even my pets. I have to check on them to make sure they're okay. It feels like I can't get a good breath in, I'm overwhelmed and always tearing up.

She says that, for this to go away, I have to continue the exposure therapy and now she wants me to record myself talking about a memory of abuse and replay it to myself over and over throughout the week. I'm angry at her for starting this with me and ruining my stability. I don't think I can keep doing this or continue day-to-day with this level of anxiety. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack.

Has anyone else gone through exposure therapy? Can you share your experience? Does it really get better?