Oh, I would go to the first meeting I could find. Don't let any social anxiety keep you from what you need to stay sober. No one will judge you for doing what you need to do to stay in recovery.

The alcoholism is making you question your recovery and use of AA and making you anxious. Personally, I think the depression and worsening life situations are your alcoholism starting to creep back in. You did good to post here before it gets worse. Just go, go now, and do your best to participate without feeling anxious.

Good luck!

moogs