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Old Nov 30, 2016, 12:38 PM
bighands bighands is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2012
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 304
Quote:
Originally Posted by WinterStorm View Post
I made a point to raise my son to be respectful of people's differences. His god mother is a lesbian and I never wanted him to grow up like the idiots who look down on the LBGT community. Well, one day he casually mentioned he was Pansexual. I was surprised because we were literally at his first high school back to school night, standing in front of the LBGT alliance desk while he considered if he wanted to sign up. When he nonchalantly said "I'm pansexual". I was very surprised, only because that was the first time he ever mentioned his sexuality other then his love for girls. Also, I had to ask him what it was. And what did it mean for him. I still don't quite understand, but then again I don't feel I need to fully understand it to support him (Am I wrong for that?). I don't see him any different and other then that conversation we haven't talked about it. Nothing has changed in our relationship. He's still the same to me, but I do find myself wondering if this is a real thing to him. He isn't very social, has gotten bullied a lot, and people don't get his personality, so they tend to be annoyed by him. So he spends a lot of time on the internet. I'm wondering if maybe he's doing it to be accepted or if it's something he really knows about himself. I also feel bad for thinking this way, because who am I to question his thoughts and feelings. I feel like those old school parents who thought their child being gay was a phase. My plans are to just support him in whatever he does, whoever he is, but I would like some advice on what I can do to support him from other pansexuals, and to see if I can get a better understanding of what it means. So far, I'm under the impression that it means he's attracted to everything. And if he's not had any experience, then how does he really know? He has never even had a consistent friend, let alone a significant other. I knew I was straight from experimentation. Not into girls, love boys. My best friend... same. Experimented.... loves girls, not into boys. Again, I feel so hypocritical for this slight doubt of his sexuality, so any advice is appreciated.
Good for you for supporting him. You said that you and your best friend figured out what you were from experimentation. Well, if he's never had a significant other, it sounds like he's in that phase too and will be refining himself as he grows. Sexuality is fluid. So, what he labels himself today may not be what he finally accepts himself as when he matures.

And just so you're not confused when he brings someone around or starts talking about liking "Sarah" or "Steve", remember that pansexual can also include those that consider themselves as non-binary gender. They are not defined by the terms boy or girl and can look like a boy but have the anatomy of a girl, or vice versa. So, as long as you stick to loving him and those that treat him well, and keep talking to him about it all, you will be fine. You're already better off than a lot of others because you asking the right questions.

Good luck!
Thanks for this!
kkrrhh