Your post and Bizis made me cry. Thank you to you both for your kindness. I was already crying but you made me cry grateful tears which are different and better so thank you.

You can help me by just staying who you are. Listening when I need to vent. Not attacking me when I see things in a way most others do not. Allowing me to be my honest self.

I wish you could promise nobody would attack me but that is not in anyone's power. I'm certain they are waiting for me out there. Waiting for the day I start living so they can do it all over again. My only sanctuary is my house. With my dogs and cameras and heavy items I can use to defend myself. They won't come in here unless I'm alone ....so I just make sure I never am. I can't go on like this forever. Piss or get off the pot as the saying goes.

When my atoms reconnect with the universe I will be fine and where I'm suppose to be. Whatever my purpose and job is up there, I know I will do it well. I can't do anything with this mortal body and mind. I need to be free if it's chains of torture and slavery.