Shellbe, Yeah I know that....I know that at the end of the day its going to be me...I've known that since I started therapy..but with the added dimension of truely missing a humanbeing its just a bit tougher...I'm not sure are you saying your an adoptee also?...all the stuff I lacked from my adoptive mother is quite acceptable on one level to me...but to be frustrated with never ever having met the woman that created me..well thats a big hole...and one I need to learn how to mourn and let go....which is so much easier for me to say than do...I wish there was a pill I could just take that reduced the amount of yearning I have for her LOL!...I'll take 3xdaily after the meals...