It has been two more weeks and my mind still falls into obsessions but not exactly revenge. Without triggering I will just say I have a puzzle to solve and am obsessed with it. Recently, I have been using music to solve the puzzle with some results. This is all PTSD related buy I have a hypomanic mind calmed by meds. Still IP, been 27 days now. Still unsafe but hoping to be ready to be discharged by Monday.

This is weird, I know, but has anyone else ever had, or created, a puzzle they NEEDED to solve to heal/be safe from PTSD issues. It seems so rational to me but I am having trouble explaining it to my T and psychiatrist. Both see PTSD and Bipolar at play and my doctor actually sees the music obsession as helpful to me right now. It is both the lyrics and the music that I connect with and find paths to the trauma. My mood is actually good. I am not upset about the trauma...well...except when I am...then I am 1000% triggered and suicidal. My mind is protecting me I think but I can't hold it all in forever...or can I?

I just want to get into a life worth living. Is that too much to ask.