when my mind goes into that darkness (I nicknamed it "My Abyss") I like to watch movies, paint or color/sketch; that is unless I have already become too depressed to get out of bed. The most effective thing a therapist had me do was to attack, beat up, yell at a body pillow until I had exhausted myself. It helped me get my feelings of rage out safely. These coping mechanisms worked for nearly 30 years. Now, due to other issues much of my abyss consumes me. We share some dx for apparently most likely the same reasons. Keep with the struggle; we are survivors