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Old Dec 01, 2016, 10:44 AM
Bill3 Bill3 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,966
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When I respond with a comment on how we can solve her problem she gets really quiet.
Instead of thinking of ways to solve a problem, consider simply being with her in the problem. Showing understanding and nonjudgmental acceptance.

Here, you might say: "Right now you are feeling a lot of desire." You show her that you understand her and accept where she is.

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Throughout the day I will make multiple sexual remarks and try and get a flirtatious response. I never do since she is so inexperienced due to her past abusive boyfriends.
I think it would be a good idea to stop doing what is not working.

Are you sure she is just "inexperienced"? If she has been abused, she might be afraid of sex, and/or triggered by it. What sort of reaction do you get from her when you want to initiate sexual activity? Does she seem eager, happy, excited, indifferent, concerned, reluctant, scared, unwilling? How would you describe her reaction?

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She hasn't told me not to flirt like that.
Yes she has. If she wanted you to keep doing it she would give you the flirting response that you are looking for.

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Which ended up with her being in a mental hospital for a month.
She has been enormously hurt and has suffered a lot.

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So when I hear all this I feel like she needs to a warm heart and teddy bear to cuddle (me). I've been through similar circumstances as her and I would've loved it if someone walked up too me. Asked me if I was okay and even if I said yes. They would know I was lying and hug me.
My suggestion is to not look at what you would want and instead to focus on what she might want. If she has been bullied and abused to the point of spending a month in the hospital, she might be much more uncomfortable with touch than she lets on. As you said, I do feel a bit selfish at times, because i know she is a tolerating it a bit for my sake though.

There are gentle, loving, nonthreatening ways to help an abused, wounded person start to become more comfortable with touch again.
Thanks for this!
Lost_in_the_woods, ~Christina