Hello Lonely Warrior: I'm sorry you were treated so poorly. I do agree that one never fully escapes the types of treatment you describe. My parents were not as severe as it's sounds like yours were. But there were complicated issues nonetheless. (I'll spare you the details.)

Part of the problem, in my case, was my parents expected to have a normal everyday son. But what they got was something far different... & at a time when such things were simply not talked about & there was virtually no help available. When I had the opportunity I moved halfway across the country to attend school & never really went back, except for a couple of visits. My mother in particular was deeply hurt I know. I was an only child & she clung to me.

My parents are both long since dead now. And I managed to keep my mental health struggles under wraps until after they were gone. I never shared with them anything that was going on with me mental-health-wise. (I really still don't understand it myself.) It would have been pointless anyway even if I could have done it. They would have had no idea how to even respond. So I'm sure they died believing that they had been really good parents & I was the most ungrateful SOB that ever soiled the earth.

All I can say is you have to do what you have to do to take care of yourself. It may be sad. But that's just the way it is...