Sometimes in this little make believe world that I've created for myself, I think that if I ignore something long enough that it will magically disappear or go away or get better all on its own ... Unfortunately C-PTSD isn't one of these things ... It's a persistent pain in the @$$, and apparently the only choice I do have is whether or not I want to continue pursuing the one step forward two steps backwards healing process, and I find it to be quite exhausting at times!

As for now I've taken another permanent break from therapy to process this past year of newfound knowledge ... And, while grateful for this latest round of information, I find that while having some fresh psychoeducation to be kind of inspiring on the one hand, it totally pisses me off on the other because it really does nothing to remedy my situation or improve my circumstances ... Only promises of more hard work lays ahead ... I'm getting too old for this @#$%! ... My life has already passed me by, and quite frankly there doesn't seem to be much of a future for this old Pfrog, and it's got me pfeeling quite despondent at the moment ... Apologies to all, it's just where I'm at right now!