Hello 88Butterfly88: I'm sorry you are struggling with these intrusive thoughts. I struggle with a lot of intrusive thoughts. My thinking, with regard to them, is that trying to stuff them down or in some way extricate them from one's thought processes is a losing battle. They just keep coming back... maybe even stronger.

So, in an effort to allay my intrusive thoughts, I employ a Buddhist practice called "compassionate abiding". This involves simply allowing the intrusive thought to come forward... breathing into it... perhaps even smiling to it. Sometimes I will even place my hand over my heart as a sign of lovingkindness & compassion for it. After a few breaths, I then drop the "story line" & simply continue to stay with the underlying emotion... be it fear, anxiety, grief or whatever.

Two things happen when we employ this practice. First, very gradually over time, the strength & frequency of intrusive thoughts wanes. But second, & perhaps more important, is that we learn we can stay with difficult thoughts & emotions without losing our balance... our equanimity.

Should you find this practice to be of interest, here is a link to a nice description of the practice from a mental health perspective:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

May it be of benefit...