****trigger warning below*

When I was about 9, I was sent to my grandparents for the summer. It was in the middle of nowhere....large farms so the neighbors were far away. My grandpa got angry at me and through me on the bed, jumped on top of my and started strangling me. My step grandma stood in the doorway and watched. She didn't do anything but loook scared. I couldn't speak but pleaded with my eyes for her to help and then he stopped.

About a year later I was having a hissy about needing to clean my room and my dad (my grandpas son) came flying in the room and took my jump rope and started strangling me with it. My mom came in and started beating on him to stop. She was crying so hard....I was choking and in shock. My dad stopped and then made me apologize to my mom for scaring her.....which I did.

My dad doesn't remember doing this. My grandpa is a WWII veteran who lost his mom at a young age and him and his 3 other siblings were raised by a strict man through the Great Depression. I have forgiven them both as best I can but I can't get over feeling uncomfortable around them. I'm crying as I write this....I love them so much but they wanted to kill me. The people who were suppose to care for me most wanted me dead. How do I get past this and feel comfortable around them and show them how much I love them? I'm stuck. Advise?