I tend to think few people know the true meaning of sacrifice. To me, it means giving up parts of yourself to help others and knowing the cost may be pain and suffering. Being able to understand and bare that cost is what completes the sacrifice and makes it true to me.

There is a downside to sacrifice. A person can sacrifice so much to help others, and run out of parts of theirself to pay the cost. I am certain this is where I am. I have sacrificed everything to help others, so much so, I feel empty, left behind, forgotten, cold, and alone in a dark and desolate nowhere.

I've never experienced the one thing that fills a person back up. I have given so much, that I am in debt to pain and suffering. I feel as though I am just taking up space, and feel like the walking dead....wandering around with a very old and tired soul that is slowly fading away. I wish I had thought of myself sooner before the damage was done, but I couldn't and still can't. I feel dirty and downright disgusted with myself, if I try to think of myself.

I heard this quote once and feel it holds true for me...."Old soldiers don't die, they just fade away."