I am so grateful for all the sacrifices you have made. I know you served some really tough combat duty plus had an unfortunate work related accident. Are there any veteran's clubs in your area like a Veterans of Foreign Wars meeting place near where you live? I know it is hard for you to drive, but I think that only others who have served in combat can truly understand all the feelings that accompany the sacrifice. Also, for me, socializing (even if it is on this forum) helps with my depression. To say that you are depressed is understating the depths of your anguish.
I do think you are right that you are a very giving person. I am thinking of you and hoping you can feel less darkness soon. I continue to think of and hope for better things for you, your mom and your grandmother. Myst