Just talked to my psychologist....thank heavens for phones. I really could use one here to see weekly face to face, but this will have to do for now. For awhile I would have an anxiety attack, take a low dose of my med, sleep it off, then wake up & feel energy to work on things. Lately, I have been doing that, but waking up right into another anxiety attack. It seems that all I can do right now is sleep & hope for the best when I wake up.

I have always been one to work when I felt the energy & sleep when I get tired.....so my body would really never know night from day....even as an engineer, I could work that way. Unfortunately, right now, the anxiety is winning & I don't have time for it to do that. I guess the stress is also getting to me because I always loose weight when I get stressed. 5 lbs in the last 3 days....is definitely stress getting the best of me. Unfortunately after my massive weight loss a few years ago, I don't have any extra to loose.

Add to that the stress of finding a pain specialist here in Kentucky. The gotcha....they won't continue filling my presciptions here from my California pain specialist. I called several here & all they do are steriod injections. Found one in Lexington that has to have referals....so I have to contact my pain specialist in California to refer me to this Dr. Then they came up with the issue that I have to sign a paper saying I won't see any other Dr for the prescriptions. I said they are going to have to work this issue out between themselves because I need the Dr in California for my prescriptions I have to fill in California & the KY dr for my prescriptions I have to fill here. It's hard to tell where I'm going to be filling the prescriptions at times.....It's hard to be flexible when your life it tied to that kind of medication & those Dr's.....hopefully it will work with getting everything settled between the 2 Dr's. I told the lady the Dr's would just have to learn how to deal with each other & make sure that helping me was their first concern cause I didn't need any crap.

I know my husband is useless, but I got so agrivated with him I hung up on him. I confronted him about something I he just went silent.....my psychologist said that he blanked out what I had said & didn't know what to say....blaming it on his ADD again.

I guess I'm just sick of everyones crap....everyone has excuses for why they can't do something.....or why they are the way they are. I know no one is perfect.....can't anyone just be good anymore????

Debbie