Welcome to the forums. Find a topic that fits and fire away...or start another one of your own if something in particular is bothering you. Are you BP1 or BP2?

My depressive episodes can get pretty bad. I have zero energy, thoughts come to a crashing halt, motivation is almost non-existent, things I used to find joy from don't touch me anymore and I get SI. It is very hard to function, showering is a mission and work incredibly difficult until the point I am hospitalised if need be.

Hypomania can be euphoric and amazing fun but I drive like a crazy woman, talk fast and act a little 'off'. Dysphoric hypomania is hell. I am agitated, talk and think fast, can't concentrate or focus, get very restless and feel very low but buzzed. I only occasionally get manic and when I do it is usually euphoric. I feel like a god and in fact think I am one. It is a super-sized version of hypomania and can land me in hospital as my thinking and acting can cause problems.

The worst state to be in is mixed (a combo of mania and depression). This is what usually lands me in hospital as I get full of rage, suicidal and out of control.

Right now I am IP due to PTSD and mania, although the mania is under control now. The PTSD however, is not. Been IP a month now due to safety issues. Think I am slowly getting better and should be home in a week.

What are your episodes like?