I feel the same like you. I dont care what happened to ppl around me even family. I simply think why should i care anyway they wont care about me either in the same situation. I have 3 close friends i can trust but deep inside my heart, ofc i dont 100% trust them. I carefully think about what informations i share with them just to counter if it backfire. I go around alone and ok with it yet sometimes when i look at other "normal" ppl sometimes i wondee how does it feel to have "friends" around you and go out together etc. but then i remember its not my life and i dont really want it anyway. In my case i found out that im schizoid and have serious trust issue.