I was wondering if it would be useful for a forum specifically about parenting issues. I looked in social and communication but I don't find much.

My son is eighteen years old and has ADHD, bipolar, written language disability and I believe oppositional disorder. He also lived with a loco dad who abused me until he died in tragedy.(other thread, long story)

He always has been defiant but when he hit 14 y/o all H3LL broke loose and I am at my wit's end.

I wrote a question to the therapist here but got no response and even e-mailed Dr Phil because I am desperate for some help.

This weekend I told him if he couldn't respect me and obey me he would have to move out and listed 8 options where he could go. This summer when he was cursing me when my mood was down I had to go drive in my car for two hours to regain my composure because I knew if I stayed there I was going to beat him until he was bleeding and bruised and I would go to jail and his psyche would be none better.

Sometimes I am afraid of him. He is very vengeful and has talked about wanting to kill people. He has no insurance, I am disabled on limited income and can barely afford his psychiatrist's visits and medicine and know he needs counseling but I can't afford it.

I have filed mental hygiene several times and the last time he was hospitalized I, his doctor and his therapist wanted him to go to long term therapy but the court psychologist said he had showed improvement by not being defiant while hospitalized and thought he should go home with me. Of course my son later said he straightened up for a few weeks in the psych hospital because he knew if he didn't he would go into long term. Very manipulative.

I am reading Toughlove and trying to use natural consequences but my son isn't learning.

What I am doing isn't working and I don't know what will help.